Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
