At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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