Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
