he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
