there's paper in my vomit.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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