I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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