Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
