I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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