I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
this is an emotional support booty call
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
