just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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