fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
