I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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