Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
