You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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