Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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