i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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