Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
