Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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