dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
