Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
