lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
