we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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