I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
