: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.