I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
