We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
