i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
