It's just like the Real World with babies
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
