Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
