it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
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nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
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You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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