Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize