I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize