I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
vagina is talking i cant
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
