If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
