paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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