My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
