i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
