i was rollin on her like bob the builder
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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