it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
