Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
not ubering you a puppy
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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