Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm eating all of the evidence.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
