Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
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Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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