My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
