did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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