Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
