Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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