All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
high people should be assigned attendants
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
