I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
