My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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