ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
