First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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