It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
