Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
