And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
