I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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