what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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