you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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